[HUMOR] 11 Tips for Today's Living

Gordon Garb (ggarb@apple.com)
06 Feb 97 15:57:39 -0800

>In an effort to help the world improve....
>
>The following 11 tips for Individuals are based on allegedly true
stories.
>If one Individual is stymied by something, it's a safe bet that many
>others are, so this should help a lot.
>
>1. If you're bidding on a job for UPS, don't send your bid by FedEx.
>2. If your computer says, "Printer out of Paper," this problem cannot be
>resolved by continuously clicking the "OK" button.
>3. If you want your refrigerator's ice maker to work, you need to hook
it
>to a water source. Air doesn't make good ice unless it is mixed with
water.
>4. No matter how much data you add to your laptop, it will not get
heavier.
>5. A bad place to store your emergency backup diskette is on the
underside
>of your desk drawer, secured by a large magnet.
>6. It's okay to use the Polaroid Land Camera on a boat.
>7. When the PC says, "Insert diskette #2," don't do it immediately.
Remove
>disk #1 first, even if you're sure you can make them both fit in there.
>8. When your PC says "You have mail," don't go to the company mail room
and
>look for a package.
>9. The French version of Netscape Navigator doesn't translate English
>language web pages into French.
>10. If you're in the armed services, and it's April 1st, and you get an
>E-Mail message to call Colonel Sanders for new orders, don't.
>11. If you go to the computer store to buy a mouse pad, you don't have
to
>specify whether it's for a Windows or a Macintosh.
>
>
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