[HUMOR] You might be a Yankee if....
Gordon Garb (email@example.com)
18 Feb 97 17:39:46 -0800
You might be a Yankee if....
> > 1) You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside."
> > 2) More than two generations of your family have been kicked out of the
> same prep school in Connecticut.
> > 3) You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce"
> > 4) You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle.
> > 5) You would rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags.
> > 6) You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his
> own TV fishing show.
> > 7) Instead of referring to two or more people as "y'all," you call them "you
> guys," even if both of them are women.
> > 8) You don't think Howard Stern has an accent.
> > 9) For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes au gratin to grits.
> > 10) None of your fur coats are homemade.
> > 11) You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-and-knife
> > 12) You think more money should go to important scientific research at your
> university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.
> > 13) You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.
> > 14) You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.
> > 15) The farthest south you've ever been is the perfume counter at Neiman
> > 16) You call binoculars opera glasses.
> > 17) You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of
> the road and stopping
> > 18) You would never wear an applique sweatshirt.
> > 19) You don't know what applique is.
> > 20) You have no idea what a polecat is.
> > 21) Most of your formative high school sexual experiences took place within
> the context of a football game.
> > 22) You don't know anyone with two first names (i.e. Joe Bob, Billy Bob,
> Kay Bob, Bob Bob)
> > 23) You don't know what a moon pie is.
> > 24) You've never had grain alcohol.
> > 25) You've never been to a craft show.
> > 26) You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you
> > 27) You've never, ever, eaten Okra.