The Top 15 Ways O.J. Can Raise $33.5 Million
15> Host a Celebrity Stab-A-Thon.
14> Negotiate with the National Enquirer to admit to the Olympic
bombing and the assasination of JFK.
13> Hit Kato up for back rent.
12> Tour guide for Hell, Michigan.
11> "I Fought the Law: An Evening in Vegas with O.J. Simpson and
10> Host a TV program about mysterious disappearances of spouses,
called the "EX-FILES."
9> Contact the Democratic National Committee fund raisers.
8> Get enormous breast implants; marry an old blind billionaire.
7> Develop super-duper coffee mug - sell a dozen to the Pentagon
for $2,791,666.67 each.
6> Arrangement with Satan to receive a penny every time someone
thinks he should burn in Hell.
5> "Borrow back" from criminal trial jury.
4> Write a "Homicide for Dummies" book.
3> Open a "Kick Me for $5" booth. Wait.
2> "I'll take 'Golf Courses of Southern California' for 33.5
and the Number 1 Way O.J. Can Raise $33.5 Million...
1> Invest $67 million in Apple Computer.