[HUMOR] Leavin' Cupertino

Gordon Garb (ggarb@worldnet.att.net)
05 Mar 97 08:57:16 -0800

I'm not _really_ leaving Cupertino just yet, but I felt so rotten
on Friday that I wrote this Saturday night. I feel much better now.
I then wrote five much superior (totally unrelated) songs Sunday
night. I actually had fun writing these things.

--
Leavin' Cupertino
(or: Chris' Extended Exit Whine or: Quit Singing and Leave Already!)
1997 C. Kalo Thomas.  All Rights Reserved.
I'm not kidding.  This copyright notice must appear wherever the 
following
text appears. If not, I will be forced to take Desperate Measures.  
I may even go to work for Microsoft. 
And clearly, we don't want that event to ever take place...

I am <ckt@best.com> or <christ@apple.com> (for a few days, anyway :).

Talkin blues: wistful, low-key guitar, but very fast tempo in places: G A D G D E A D A D

1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8

I'm leaving Cupertino today Ain't lookin back

I used to bleed six-colors and my shirts were starched and steely my heart pumped vibrant rainbows But the blood marched much too freely

I'm leaving Cupertino today Ain't lookin back

Discovered I'm not Bill, Steve, or Gil Tried Macintosh programming Now I've got some time to fill Two years hard coding wasted

I'm leaving Cupertino today Ain't lookin back

Sheila called me up one day Wanted to set up an interview I jumped at the chance to be Interrogated by Phil, Steve, Jeff and Lew

I'm leaving Cupertino today Ain't lookin back

So I joined the Maxwell project Joined the toolbox team Wrote large amounts of code And lost some self-esteem

I'm leaving Cupertino today Ain't lookin back

They say that Netscape's got bugs And Windows En-Tee is unstable, well For pure, unbridled incompetence, Our executives surely place in hell

I'm leaving Cupertino today Ain't lookin back

Maxwell might be a failure, sure (With no post-mortem, how can we know?) Though technically it had allure Ellen thought it wrong, certainly too slow

I'm leaving Cupertino today Ain't lookin back

We tried to prop up MacOS, we tried to write JavaOS We even took a naked-eye look at the Sun I hope that I will be remembered in Cupertino When everything Blue is said and done

But I'm leaving Cupertino today Ain't lookin back

When I told my tech lead more sad tales he did exclaim [<muted sound effect, subtle: Mac II startup chime>]"Welcome to Macintosh!" Tragedy, comedy, on a regular basis hails, What else did you expect, sanity?

So I'm leaving Cupertino today Ain't lookin back

Now I may never reach that project in the sky Where the compiler has zero defects and the OS does not lie I'm switching careers, gonna hang with beach bums Hard on the wallet, but there's no need for Tums

'Cause I'm leaving Cupertino today Ain't lookin back

Walking down De Anza I uncomfortably discovered My reality distortion field - congealed I haven't yet recovered

I'm leaving Cupertino today, Ain't lookin back

Now Don Crabb is in ecstasty over our OS direction Now the troubled souls and the nay-sayers are ignored Say, Rhaspody is great, Rhapsody is perfection Now the doubters and the Maxwell folks have been floored Ameliorated

I'm leaving Cupertino today, Ain't lookin back

One, two, three, four Can't talk in the corridor I must call some more procedures While I wait for the asset seizures

Thus, I'm leaving Cupertino today Ain't lookin back

Now my talented tech lead is gone and my talented team is now disbanded my talented manager presides over a ruin along with all of the lack-of-respect that it once commanded

Why, I'm leaving Cupertino today Ain't lookin back No, Ain't lookin back

[...and the twisted groupies claw at the stage, screaming in vain...]

--

* * * You Have Missed The Point Entirely * * *