[HUMOR] Things You Don't Want to Hear During Surgery

Mark Q. Maxham (max@interstice.com)
16 Mar 97 11:15:32 -0800

>>---------------------------------------------
>>Things You Don't Want to Hear During Surgery:
>>---------------------------------------------
>>
>>Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
>>
>>Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop
>>
>>"Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness"
>>
>>Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!
>>
>>Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
>>
>>Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie
>>
>>Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.
>>
>>Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500 ml of this stuff before?
>>
>>Damn, there go the lights again...
>>
>>"Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy's got two of 'em.
>>
>>Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
>>
>>Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration
off.
>>
>>What's this doing here?
>>
>>I hate it when they're missing stuff in here.
>>
>>That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!
>>
>>I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses.
>>
>>Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
>>
>>Sterile, schmerile. The floor's clean, right?
>>
>>What do mean he wasn't in for a sex change...!
>>
>>Anyone see where I left that scalpel?
>>
>>And now we remove the subject's brain and place it in the body of the
ape.
>>
>>OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of
nature.
>>
>>This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
>>
>>Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
>>
>>Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.
>>
>>What do you mean "You want a divorce"!
>>
>>She's gonna blow! Everyone take cover!!!
>>
>>Damn! Page 47 of the manual is missing!
>>
>>FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!
>>
>-----------------------------------------------------------
>Dick Moberg dick@moberg.com