[HUMOR] email and .....

Mark Q. Maxham (max@research.apple.com)
Mon, 22 Jul 96 10:36:09 CDT

Why is Email like a Penis?

>>> Some folks have it, some don't. Those who have it would be
>>> devastated if it were ever cut off. They think that those who don't
>>> have it are somehow inferior. They think it gives them power. They are
>>> wrong. Those who don't have it may agree that it's a nifty toy, but
>>> think it's not worth the fuss made over it by those who do have it.
>>> Still, many of those who don't have it would like to try it.
>>> It can be up or down. It's more fun when it's up, but it makes it
>>> hard to get any real work done.
>>> In the long-distant past, its only purpose was to transmit
>>> information considered vital to the survival of the species. Some
>>> people still think that's the only thing it should be used for,but
>>> most folks today use it for fun most of the time.
>>> Once you've started playing with it, it's hard to stop. Some
>>> people would just play with it all day if they didn't have work to do.
>>> It provides a way to interact with other people. Some people take
>>> this interaction very seriously; others treat it as a lark. Sometimes
>>> it's hard to tell what kind of person you're dealing with until it's
>>> too late.
>>> If you don't apply the appropriate protective measures, it can
>>> spread viruses.
>>> It has no brain of its own. Instead, it uses yours. If you use it
>>> too much, you'll find it becomes more and more difficult to think
>>> coherently.
>>> We attach an importance to it that is far greater than what its
>>> actual size and influence warrant.
>>> If you're not careful what you do with it, it can get you in big
>>> trouble.
>>> It has its own agenda. Somehow, no matter how good your
>>> intentions, it will warp your behavior. Later you may ask yourself
>>> "why on earth did I do that?"
>>> It has no conscience and no memory. Left to its own devices, it
>>> will do the same damn dumb things it did before.