[HUMOR] Keeping your co-workers guessing

Gordon Garb (ggarb@worldnet.att.net)
21 Mar 97 19:18:16 -0800

Keeping your co-workers guessing

A little free reading for you all this weekend (I expect that none of
suggestions will actually show up anywhere here in the office ;) :

>How to Keep the Wackiness Alive in the Modern Workplace
>Name all your pens and insist that meetings can't begin until they're
> present.
>Send email to the rest of the company telling them what you're doing.
>For example "If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathroom."
>Put your garbage can on your desk. Label it "IN."
>Every time someone asks you for something, ask them if they want fries
>with that.
>Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits.
>Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially
>effective if your boss is a different gender than you are.)
>Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by
>these names. "That's a good point Sparky." "No I'm sorry I'm going to
>have to disagree with you there, Chachi."
>Arrive at a meeting late, say you're sorry, but you didn't have time
>for lunch, and you're going to be nibbling during the meeting. During
>meeting eat 5 entire raw potatoes.
>Install a set of buttons and lights in the arm of your chair. Talk into
>your daytimer in a voice imitating Capt. Kirk.
>Insist that your e-mail address be
>Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them to sign a
>Include a piece of your children's artwork as a cover page for all
>reports that you write. (If you don't have children, draw stick figures
>Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair
>Agree to organize the company Christmas party. Hold it at McDonald's
>Playland. Charge everyone $15 each.
>When in conversation, no matter where you are in the office, mutter,
>"I think my phone is ringing" and leave. Go get a coffee.
>Determine how many cups of coffee is "too many."
>Bring in dishes that you tried to cook but didn't turn out quite right
>special treats for your co-workers.
>While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in "Palmolive".
>Send e-mail messages saying free pizza, free donuts etc... in the
>lunchroom, when people complain that there was none... Just lean
>back, pat your stomach, and say, "Oh you've got to be faster than